So much has been going on, and yet, so little actual change. Most of the changes are just in my future plans. For instance, my mother and I were talking about her moving in to my house and I was going to enclose my carport so that she would have her own space on the opposite side of the house furthest from my dogs. It seemed like the most cost-effective move. But, the more we talked about it, we realized that my mother would be bored at my house, far away from her friends, church activities, and transportation. She lives in a 55 and older town 45 minutes away from me and I didn't think that I would be allowed in. After doing some research, I found that anyone over 18 can live in the town as long as one resident is 55 or older. Also, if the 55 and older resident dies, the other resident can remain living there it they are 45 or older (although I probably would not want to).
The next hurdle was finding an area that we both agree upon. I took a half day off last week and we drove around looking at neighborhoods. I liked the houses on one acre lots but Mom needs sidewalks to walk on and would prefer a house with a front porch to wave at people as they walk by. I would also like a large backyard so that she and I can both have our areas to do with as we please. We found a neighborhood close to where she lives now. It has a homeowner's association and I was worried that they would limit the number of pets per household. I looked up the rules online and was pleasantly surprise to find that they do not but I will still have to make sure that my dogs don't bark and annoy the neighbors.
|Bark? Not me!|
Ok, if we actually did this moving in together thing, Mom would need to sell her house and I would need to sell my house. So, now I am back to the plan of downsizing and then fixing up the house to sell. This is after my nephew graduates and goes to live with his grandfather in May. This plan seems like it might actually work if we find the right house so that we can maintain our own privacy yet be there for each other when we need to be.
What will this plan do to my early retirement plan? Probably delay it because my house money will be tied up in another house and I might even get another mortgage, but if that is what I need to do to keep Mom out of a nursing home then I should do it. I'll just keep paying down the mortgage and saving more money and someday I will be in a very good position to retire, hopefully, still early.
Daizy, you have a heart of gold! Delaying your dream to be there for your Mom is simply beautiful. You've cared for your nephew, taken in rescues, wow. We can all learn lessons from your exemplary life.
Best wishes to all of you.
Susan in Washington state
I would agree with you, unless mum has dementia or something which needs actual nursing care then this would be a much better option.
My parents made me promise when i was about 20 that i would lever put them in a home
Well, I figure I should help if I have the means. I never thought I would be in this position, with my nephew and Mom. I'm glad I can offer to help and I hope it actually works out.
Homes are so expensive anyway. I don't know how people afford it. I will be living in my tiny house full of dogs until they come to take me away!
Oh, man. That's some heavy stuff.
My wife and I have talked about the same thing: what to do if one of our parents needed help. I think moving in with us is the easiest thing, but hopefully our current or new home would be sufficient on its own.
I kind of love the mother-in-law suite idea: getting the best of both worlds, so you can be close, but not too too close.
You're a good daughter for making a move like this. Best of luck with selling both houses.
Ya, it would be easier for me to stay in my house but I'm gone at work all day anyway and mom needs entertainment so I might as well move to where her friends are. It will be a challenge with the dogs. I'll still have my property with the barn-shed if I need a vacation, lol.
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