I’ve been reminded of my mortality more than usual this month. Bernie Mac ,the comedian, died from pneumonia. He was only 50. Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones died suddenly of an aneurysm at age 58 which brought back memories of my own sister who died from the same thing at the young age of 26. And yesterday I read that one of my favorite teachers from community college died in a plane crash. He was only 57 and had retired last year. Thinking about death makes me re-analyse my goals to make sure I'm not giving up too much now for a reward later that might never happen. I do think my goals are worth the effort even though I might die or someone I love might die. I can’t control death. It strikes the rich and poor alike. Even if I quit my job today and moved closer to my family it wouldn't guarantee that I would be happy and that no one would die.
I think I just miss my family right now. I visited them in May but it has been 3 months. I used to visit them in September when I had more vacation time. This is why I want a more flexible schedule. I know I wouldn’t want to move up there without at least my minimum budget covered by my rental income. I would be unhappy, I wouldn’t have enough money to live independently and we would start to get on each other’s nerves. What is worse- missing your family or fighting with your family? I would say fighting is much worse. I’ll visit them for Thanksgiving. We’ll have fun. They’ll drive me crazy and I will go back to my life for another 6 months when I will miss them a whole bunch again. (All I really need to do is remember back to last year's Christmas stomach flu episode and I suddenly don't miss them so much!)
Next year I think we might all be getting together for a graduation so I might even see them 3 times. Then it will only be a short time before my mortgage is paid off and I will be free to visit them whenever I want.