Thursday, August 20, 2015

Winning The Bad News Lottery

After my father's funeral, we encouraged my mother to meet my sister and her family in Florida for their family reunion/Disney World vacation.  It seemed like a fantastic idea.  Mom would have time with her grandchildren, meet her great-grandbaby for the first time, travel like she has wanted to do for so long, and get away from the reminders of her life as a caretaker of my father.  Everything went well until last Sunday... the morning before the day she was supposed to return to Arizona, she got up to use the bathroom in the dark, got confused by the unfamiliar house, fell and broke her hip.  It is what she had feared for so long.  One of the main reasons she moved to Arizona was because she was terrified of falling on the ice in Washington and breaking a hip.

But it gets worse.  The hospital gave her morphine for the pain.  Evidently, many seniors come down with a thing called 'hospital delirium'.  They aren't sure of the cause but they think it has something to do with morphine, anesthesia, possibly dehydration, and the combination of medications that elderly people are taking. This condition which causes hallucinations and paranoia, can go away in a few days, a few weeks, or never.  It's only been 3 days since the surgery so we are still hopeful.

And still worse, my mother is now stuck in Florida where we have no friends or relatives.  My sister is only able to stay until Monday.  Mom was transferred to a rehabilitation hospital today and has to be there for 2 weeks before they will possibly clear her to fly.  After that she will fly to be near one her daughters to complete her therapy.

I just can't even wrap my head around all of this misfortune.  I had hoped that she would be able to travel for at least a year before something like this happened.  Not only am I extremely sad for her, but everyone in my family is looking at their own future and wondering.  The urge to retire NOW is growing but I still can't seem to do it.  There is a lot of security in that bi-weekly paycheck.  I have very little in savings after all of the renovating.  My rental house is still in transition between tenants and I am having to pay for repairs and utilities.  I am not ready to sell my house just yet.  I'm not even ready to sell my truck and now I have my mother's car too.  That's 3 cars sitting in my driveway.  All I know is that I had better not wait too long to retire because there is no guarantee that my physical or mental health is going to cooperate with my retirement plans.


15 comments:

Lizzie@her MFW Homeworld said...

Just find a way and finish, enjoy your time. Your poor mum, i cant imagine what this must be like.
Also have never heard of this happening to elderly people. They are very prone to urine infection which their body doesn't fight, so they don't get a fever, but which causes toxins in the blood and hallucinations.But a course of antibiotics and they are fine again. I learnt a lot about such things as my parents are now 86 and 87 and we spend quite a lot of time at hospital for something or something else!

Kim said...

So sorry for your family. I will say a prayer for full health to return. Stay strong.

Dave said...

Sorry to hear about your mom, especially so soon after your dad's passing.

I didn't know your rental house was not generating any income. To retire early, as you know, you need some combination of savings, investment income, and other source(s) of reliable, passive income. You did seems to set yourself back some with all of your renovations. But you will get through them, eventually, just not any time really soon, and resume your path toward an early retirement.

thequiltingdoberman said...

You know I am only 42, you are way more on your way than me, and I still totally get what you are saying. I think a lot about my future, quality of life, and priorities. I find what you are doing beyond inspiring.

I am very hard to hear about your mom! What a nightmare for everyone involved. I hope that she gets to leave sooner than later and at least be with family.

Take care. With everything coming at you, you are doing great!

Daizy said...

Lizzie, we have asked them to check for it. The hospital seemed only interested in getting her out so they could have an open bed. They just assumed that delusional was her normal state. Care for elderly without an advocate is frightening. I am glad you are there for your parents.

Daizy said...

Thank you, Kim! It is hard to have her so far away from family and friends.

Daizy said...

Dave, I didn't really set my self back so much as do my plans out of order. Originally I had planned to pay off my mortgage first and then save for renovating the mobile home. The mobile home is pretty much done so now I need to get back to paying off the mortgage. Good news is I should have a new tenant for September. In feel like this year is a test of what can go wrong and it is letting me know that I need a bigger emergency fund.

Daizy said...

thequiltingdoberman, life is such a gamble! I don't like gambling but there is no way out. Work longer and save more only to become ill or die suddenly or get out now and possibly not have enough money for basic things. I'm still hoping I can get out in under 5 years. 3 would be better but NOW is tempting. :)

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry about your Mom, Daizy. It seems so unreal since she was just helping you with all those renovations and seemed so robust and capable.

I know it is hard to decide when to pull the work plug. I started getting health problems at 52, but nothing that stops me from working, and then something else and then something else. I can still work just fine and get along, but is some sort of message being sent to me???? And my neighbors are only like mid 60's and they have the fire dept, paramedics and rescue squad there about every 3 weeks, yikes

Lizzie@her MFW Homeworld said...

Is it safer to go and get her? The scale of travel you have to deal with is so huge that I cant quite compute whats possible, in my head.

Dobermom said...

I'm so sorry to hear what happened to your mom. I've never heard of hospital delirium. Sounds pretty darn scary. I assume your mom is in a hospital in the Orlando area? If I was closer I'd go visit her for you. I'm about 2 1/2 hours away. I hope she gets to come home soon.

Daizy said...

Anonymous,I get lots of stories about people in their 80's who are sharp as a tack. On the other hand, I also hear about people who drop dead in their 50's and 60's. It is such a gamble. I think I will stick with my 2-5 year plan. It should keep me comfortable until I lose my mind.

Daizy said...

Lizzie, my brother-in-law is planning to go get her as soon as she is cleared to fly. Hopefully, that will be in a week. If they need me to go instead, I will do it.

Daizy said...

Dobermom, Mom's in a rehab hospital in Orlando but hopefully only for a week until she can fly. We are going to try hiring a companion for her to answer her questions and keep in touch with us.

Wednesday Lotto results said...

Money does not solve all problems, but really make life easier ... This incident - another proof! Do not despair!